Me, myself and Arun

It was on a Sunday morning, and as usual, I had no mood whatsoever to get up, let alone expect the things that would turn out to be. My widening mid riff had prompted me to go on a jog and this was supposed to be the first day in my quest for slimmer days. The alarm was a big trouble, the snooze buttom seemed to be running very fast and as soon as I had hit it, the alarm would go off again.
The determined alarm set me going and before I knew it, I was in the jogger's park. It was unusually dark and I was surprised to find that I was all alone in the park. As I started my jog, I came to the corner of the park which had a small pool. A stray mongrel was pulling at a sack half immersed in the water. The water around the sack was red and after watching and reading loads of thrillers, the sherlock in me awakened. I thought, I should investigate what it was. But the real me was less enthusiastic. I ran back to the gate and told the gate keeper what I had seen. I told him that it might be the body of someone chopped up. It might be an attempt by someone to cover up the murder they had committed. The underworld might be involved.
The gate keeper came across with me to the spot, cursing his ill luck and me under his breath. What he saw made him stop cursing and start praying. He like me was in no mood to see what was in the sack. By this time a crowd had collected and it was ever so slightly growing. I was at my best, like an experienced tour guide explaining to the people how I was the first one to spot it. The gate keeper had gone to the phone to call in the cops. Surprisingly, they were fast to the scene. Mentally, I was preparing the description I would give to the police. The police asked the gate keeper to pull out the sack. As they were opening the sack, there was a very familiar smell in the air, no not blood. It was paint. The sack had contained tins of paint cans which someone had thrown over the fence. I quietly exit the scene when the people were busy looking at the paint cans and rushed home. That was the beginning and end of my slimming programme.
Sherlock laughed at me and said, "You should listen to me once in a while. "